Yoga. Drugs. Unrequited lust: the day in the life of a volunteer yoga teacher on Ometepe island, Nicaragua

[Note: I’m leaving in a couple days to continue my hitchhike journey north to California. I have four weeks to reach Santa Cruz, which is estimated at 80 hours driving hours.]

Time stood still for the last 5 weeks. Here on the 2-volcano island of Ometepe, in a lake, in Nicaragua. Levels to this shit.

But real quick: I’ve been a volunteer yoga teacher for 5 weeks now, doing 3 hours of yoga per day, and learning some things. Did you know, for example, that yoga has since its origins encompassed much more than just “doing the poses.” The poses are asanas, which is just 1 of Patanjali’s 8 legs of Ashtanga yoga. (Breathing, for example is another of the 8 legs.) But before you practice your positions or your breathing, there are several tenets a yogi should try to adhere to. One is non-harm. Another is cleanliness. Zeal for yoga. Honesty. Honesty. Indeed!

I’m already a big fan of honesty.

As a yogi, I have begun to sink these other focuses into my daily life and put them into my intentions as I perform my yoga. I will now practice honesty, then, and I will honestly take you through my average day at Zopilote, exposing myself to you.

I neither condemn nor condone any or all of the following activities for others. But, to paraphrase Hunter S. Thompson, I find they work for me.

  • awaken with the sun 
  • smoke from my pipe: a mix of weed, tobacco, and cacao shell (cacao is just a good-tasting tobacco substitute)
  • bathroom
  • take a clonazapam* (since these are available OTC in Nicaragua, I’ve been taking these for the last few weeks)
  • walk to the restaurant and order a coffee
  • return to campground for 7am yoga class (every other day, I am the yoga teacher of this class, but I still go attend on my off-days)
    • if teaching: Get the platform prepped early and sit down
    • if NOT teaching: (we have another yoga teacher): probably swing by my tent for a hit of hash
  • 7am yoga! If I’m teaching, we do the Ashtanga Primary Modified Series, because it’s all I know how to teach really so far. 
  • Svasana (corpse pose) for the last 5 minutes, sit up, namaste motherfuckers
  • head to breakfast feeling like a million bucks
  • eat
  • smoke 
  • pass the following 3 hours until staff lunch doing things like playing chess, maybe hiking, tagging along with the permaculture tour of the farm, collecting some herbs, smoking more…when opportunity arises, i spend time throughout the day respectfully hitting on the beautiful women of Zopilote (and usually failing)
  • 4pm yoga (see above)
  • walk up to the mirador to watch the sunset, sometimes bringing along the ukulele
  • walk down to the restaurant for dinner
  • smoke
  • evening activities vary: Tuesdays and Saturdays are the party nights here at the farm because we have a huge outdoor pizza party with cocktails and fire spinning and dancing
  • go to bed early, often after a good session of conversation and/or chess and beers at the restaurant, and often after unsuccessfully trying to seduce a female to come back to bamboo grove tent at such an early hour as 8 or 9pm
  • for the record, my seduction techniques are simply to flirt and be honest and make them laugh and listen to them and try to understand them. I don’t have a “move.” I do, however, have the confidence to ask them back to my tent. And it’s been interesting having honest conversations about sex. It would just be more stimulating to me have more sex to go along with these conversations.

So yes, as a volunteer here, I am working 7 hours per week and receiving a free place to stay (bed if I want one) and 3 square meals per day. Living the cashless life, if only weed were free. 

It has been a simple life… now and then I pick up a book when I’m craving the stimulation of knowledge… life has been tranquilo. Melty. Milky smoothNo need for an alarm clock. I don’t even have a watch or a phone. I just exist within my own head. And I am very happy and learning as much as possible about yoga.


Looking forward, in 2 days time I’ll be picking up where I left off (hitching north over land from Panama City). But I’m going to hitch FAST. And I have some mescaline I may take while hitching up north, finally fusing Hitchhiking with Psychedelic, which I dreamed of doing since creating this blog.

I’ll leave in 2 days, heading north along the PanAmerican Highway up through Nicaragua first. Next post, I will be back on the road and maybe describing a bad mescaline trip.

To pick up where the “TODO NORTE!” hitching story left off, here is the last installment.



*I certainly have my vices. To those concerned about me, my only promise is that I do everything (drug-wise) with caution and moderation and never ever cross borders with drugs…anymore).

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